“You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages.”

Michelle Obama

Everyone has a unique set of challenges that life set up for them in order to help them realize and achieve their greatest potentials. However, while you are in a difficult situation or a challenging period of your life, it is hard to piece everything together to have that realization. Or you have an intellectual understanding, but your negative emotions, thoughts, beliefs and patterns prevent you from living in peace, taking much needed actions or presenting your best self. Take a moment a see if you experience any of the challenges below?

So on and so on.

If you experience any or all of the above challenges or more, know that it’s all very human. You don’t need to criticize or feel ashamed by what you’re experiencing in your life. What determines the quality of your life is not by avoiding problems or wishing problems can go away magically, but by being present with yourself and ask yourself what you can learn from them. Life is more about how you choose to experience what you experience rather than what you choose to experience.

Now here is the life changing thought. What if I tell you that all the tools you need to change and shift your reality and rise above your challenges are all within you? How does it make you feel? What thoughts come to your mind? How does your body respond? What memories has surfaced? Pay attention to them as they offer valuable information on how you perceive, understand and believe about the world. But more importantly how you relate, perceive and connect with yourself. The relationships you have with different parts of you including the infant, the child, the adult and the shadow parts affect how you relate to others and how you respond to different parts of others that you can see in yourself whether you are consciously aware or not. As an exercise, you can write down how you are feeling emotionally, your body sensations, the memories that come to your mind and whatever has been brought to your conscious awareness. In a month or two, do this exercise again and see how your perception and understanding of yourself and the world has changed. This exercise helps you to bring more awareness to your inner experience and place less importance to the external world which is much needed to bring more balance to those who live in the modern world.

I also need to mention that it’s not really the time that changes your reality or heals your past wounds. That’s why some people hold on to past wounds, trauma, heartbreaks for years without being able to move forward. It’s how you change your perception and relations to yourself, the events and the people involved that give you the direction, freedom, peace and confidence to move forward. Do you support, nurture, forgive, do nice things and say encouraging and compassionate words to yourself? Or do you live in your past mistakes or glory, compare your achievements with others’, criticize or ostracize wounded parts of yourself instead of bringing them into your awareness and reintegrate them into your present time awareness? These are really good questions to ask yourself on a regular basis because they bring your awareness to the most important relationship you can ever have in your life – the relationship with yourself. As you heal different parts of yourself and build stronger connection with them, you will be able to access the deeper wisdom, love and strength within your own being. Practically, you are also the only person who can be there for you and with you 24/7. Whatever caretaking qualities and abilities you did not develop in your infancy, childhood, or adolescence can be adequately developed in your adult life. In the following parts, I will be sharing different ways of connecting with yourself, healing from past negative memories and events, moving forward with confidence, love and understanding as well as live in peace beyond understanding. Stay tuned. Namaste.

Love and Light,

Jane Huang