How To Deal With Abusive Relationships

woman huggingThe first step to deal with abusive relationships is admitting you are actually in one. Most people tend to deny they are in one because all relationships take time and effort to create and maintain and we don’t want to believe that the time and evergy that we have spent are going to waste or against us.

Then something might happen to make you alert that the person you are in relatioship (does not have to be romantic relationships, it can be parents, relatives, co-workers, social encounters etc) with actually tend to be a taker, a manipulator, or a user. When situations like this happens, some people critisize the other person for being inconsiderate and be very angry at them while others tend to tell themselves that everything will be fine and wishfully think the other person will change for them. Very few people really look at the the cause of the issue and how the relationship was formed in the first place. However, this is an important step to deal with all relationship problems. We have to really understand what situation we are in and what the next step to take that will bring the best solutions for everyone involved.

Most emotional and physical abusive relationships form when both parties have insecurities, looking for another person to help deal with our problems (or to complete us). Then, we have to ask ourselves, what do we want to experience from this particular relationship? Are we trying to get something from it in order to ease our fears, anxieties or insecurities. Relationships based on co-dependnece will always meet challenges down the road and it will get harder and harder as time goes by because both parties refuse to learn and baggage carried by each people grows day by day.

To deal with it in a healthy way, we really have to detach ourselves from the situation for as long as we need and feel the emotions that come up. The emotions we feel is what created the event and even the relationship. Common emotions include anger because of feeling not getting what one wants, grief due to feeling sacrificing so much for nothing, fear because not knowing what the future will be etc. It’s very important to know we are responsible for everything we feel. We are not responsible for how others treat us because everyone has free will. But we are in total control of how we feel and what actions we take. If what other people do have effect on us, it is beause we are not strong enough internally and we have expectation on others to please us. The expectations we put on others really come from deep-rooted selfishness because we make ourselves the centre of a relationship and we demand others to please us. So it is not surprising that relationships formed based on selfishness create pain for both sides and will not last long. People who are attached to their expectations tend to stay in abusive relationships longer because they are more susceptible to illusions that the other person will become who they want them to be.

Once we are clear about our feelings and where they come from, we are ready to start taking action that will help us grow and free us eventually.

  1. Do not play the blame game: meaning completely own your own emotions, thoughts, and actions. If someone is not loving to you (eg: criticism, ridicule, condemn, manipulate, blame etc) tell them how you feel, and give them a choice to change. If they do not change, leave. You do not have to put up with that.
  2. See what you can change in order to improve the situation: all abuseive relationships are created by more than one person. See what you have done has created such an relationship. Change your attitude, actions and intentions. Communicate with the other person. If he/she is willing to change in the positive direction, you can choose to grow together. If the other person is closed off and not willing to change, leave the situation because the other person is being selfish and controlling and you do not have to be the victim.
  3. Persistence: Roman Empire was not built in one day. Usually abusive realtionships are quite difficult lessons to learn and takes time and effort to change or leave them. You have to be persistent in what you do and how you feel. You need to make new ways of thinking, perceiving, and responding your new habits, replacing the old ones, so that you life keeps going in the desired direction. To achieve that, it takes time, effort and constant practice. Remember: nothing worthwile comes easy.
  4. Celebrate accomplishments: We tend to overlook our needs and under-appreciate ourselves. This is actually one of the reasons why we even get into abusive relationships because we do not love ourselves enough. We tell ourselves it’s okay that life is stressful and frustrating. But in truth, life doesn’t have to be that way. We choose to experience the events we want to experience. No matter how difficult it seems at a particular moment, we always have choices and the right choices always give you hope, peace and freedom. What you choose may take you out of your comfort zone, but it’s good for you and you need to trust your ability to deal with challenges and trust that the universal laws are meant to help your grow and prosper, but you need to take inspired actions and face some challenges first. We also need to understand that challenges/difficulties in life are not meant to be punishment. They are only consequences of what you have done or not done in the past. So the faster you deal with a problem, the less severe consequence it will be.
  5. Start to give more: The purpose of life is to prosper, to grow, be abundant, be confident, be happy, be loving, be generous, be helpful, be compassionate and make your contribution to help others and make the world a better place. The universe will generously return its favour at the right time . The more you give, the more abundant you will be. The more you love, the stronger you will be. The more you smile, the happier you will be. The more you try, the more confident you will be. The more you help, the more successful you will be. The secret to live an abundant, joyful and fulfilling life is to give generously and receive graciously.

Love and light

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance

Question Your Ability to Achieve Your Goals? – Watch This!

Human beings have amazing and inexhaustible abilities and potential to achieve our goals and create unbelieve realities. Whether you can achieve your potential, all depends on which image of yourself and the voice in you that you choose to connect to and live by. If you see yourself as a people pleaser, you will always do what other people expect of you and never really find out what you truly want. If you see yourself as a victim of life, you will always find power, strength and decisiveness too far to reach. If you see yourself as a conventional person, you will always follow cultural norms and never question if they are beneficial for societal progression and if they are for your highest good.

On the other hand, if you see yourself as a person who speaks and acts in truth and justice, you will not be lured into pleasing anyone because you see personal freedom and self-repect as most important and when you understand to respect yourself, you will give others the respect that they deserve as well.

If you see yourself as a powerful creator rather than a victim, you will go within and summon your inner wisdom, power and strength to make the best possible decisions out of any situation rather than giving up half way or blaming others for hardship because you understand that you participate in creating everything in your life and how you feel about anything in your life is totally within your control.

If you see yourself as a powerful, free human being who is meant to live by their purpose and bring knowledge, wisdom, freedom and inspiration to the world and is not meant to blindly follow any convention created by society, you will live your life with purpose, determination, gratitude, joy, creativity and love that will touch so many people in this world and inspire them to get out of their shell and be free.

A change in perception and intention can change so much in your life.

If you ever question your ability to achieve your goals, think again, because you are powerful, amazing and beautiful.

Love and light

Jane Huang

Founder Of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance

Freedom, Love, Tolerance and Acceptance

One of the most beautiful songs about freedom, love, spirituality, tolerance and acceptance. We are all brothers and sisters on the jouney of constant learning and creating our individual and collective reality that we call LIFE. It doesn’t matter what cultural, class, racial or religious background you are from, we are fundamentally the same inside and all have the innate desire to love and be loved.

Most problems in the world now are created by lack of love manifesting in lack of tolerance and acceptance such as different religions, culture, politics, sexuality etc. However, everyone has the gift of free will and is encouraged to make whatever decisions they like without harming others. Everyone’s purpose in life is to prosper through experiencing and developing one’s talents and abilities, resulting in creating value to the world and human-kind.

We are much stronger, more powerful together than apart and against each other. The biggest lesson humanity needs to learn is love – truly giving from the heart without expecting anything back while allowing the universe returns its favour at its divine time.

Hope this post can help those who are struggling in life and know that my prayers are with you.

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance

Daily Prayer – I Completely Love And Accept Myself

Before you start reading the prayer, remember to breathe into your diaphragm several times and allow Chi in your body to flow. Then as you start to read the prayer, you’ll feel your whole being is willing and eager to absorb the essence of the prayer.

 

In the infinity of life where I am,

all is perfect, whole and complete.

I allow myself to be Divinely protected and guided.

I trust that the Universe loves me unconditionally,

and is waiting for me to receive its love and abundance.

I choose to look within

as the outside reality is an accurate picuture of my inner state.

As I shift my inner state, my outside reality changes as well.

It’s safe for me to look within

and trust that the universe will protect me through the process.

It’s safe and beneficial for me to dive into the suppressed emotions

as the emotions I am afraid and resent the most

are the ones I need to clear the most.

I realize that I am far more than my personality – past, present and future.

I now choose rise above my perceived problems

to recognized the magnificence of my being

and know that I have complete power to change my life

I am competely willing to accept, embrace, love and value myself dearly.

All is well in my world.

 

 

Inspired by Louise L. Hay

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance

Daily Prayer – Accepting, Understanding and Exploring Life

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect,

whole and complete, and yet life is ever changing.

I open my heart to accpet and embrace changes,

for they create opportunities,

and leave out what do not work.

Life is never stuck or static or stale,

for each moment is ever new and fresh.

Everything happens in my life, including all the highs and lows

helps me move towards the life I really desire and deserve.

I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power

has given me the power to create my own circumstances.

I rejoice in the knowledge and excitment that I have the power

to create whatever experience I desire and believe to acquire.

Every moment of life is a new beginning point

to re-start and re-shape the direction and quality of my life.

Everything in my world depends on what I do, think and feel right here, right now.

All is well in my world.

Inspired by Louise L. Hay

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance

Dream The Impossible, Achieve The Incredible

The journey of success, joy, abundance starts with you taking the first step to bring light, value, power, and positivity into your life and people around you. It’s true that you can not control others’ reaction and you don’t have to. They may not understand or appreciate what you are doing for yourself and the world at this moment because everyone is on a different level of understanding. It doesn’t mean they are less then you are. It only means you are ahead of them and they will come to understand what life is all about in their own time. Also everyone has free will to decide and choose what they want to believe in. If you feel you need others’ approval to start doing what you desire, then you have to look at where your insecurity comes from because if you are truly strong and confident inside, you will not take offense if others disagree with you. In contrast, you would really listen to what they are trying to say and see if there is a point to it. And usually there is, because everything that universe brings to you is for your improvement and advancement, but it depends your level of understanding to comprehent it and your perception to interpret it .


What’s really important is how you feel about what you do and how you live your life. No one else can have the same experience as you do because they are not you. Even if they want to, it is not possible because everything they see, hear, feel and experience is filtered by their unique perception.

So how do you feel about your life? Do you feel excitement, joy, sense of accomplish, determined, and living your purpose? Or do you feel limited, frustrated or even angry because you are struggling among coming to terms with your past, pleasing other people and finding your own power and purpose? Whatever you are struggling with, feel it, acknowledge it and let it go. Let yourself start a new way of living your life and start to believe the imposible can be accomplished.

Love and light

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance

 

 

You Are The Answer To Heal Your Life

How do you feel about your life? Is there some area in your life you feel frustrated about because you do not know how to improve it? Do you always question results and not trusting that the universe will always bring you the nest solution in a particular situation? Have you ever felt you have been neglected, not loved or not being treated fairly? Do you feel you are not worthy enough to pursue what you love, who you want to be and the life that you really want to experience? Have you ever felt you do not deserve the things that truly bring you happiness and joy?


If your answer is yes to any of the questions above, it’s an indication that you have not really opened your heart to allow the universe to show you how much you are loved and you are not being loving to yourself because you put a cap on what you really want to experience. However, do not blame yourself for how you feel or what you know now because what you are experiencing at this moment has nothing to do with what is going to happen in the future if you choose to change your approach to every aspect of your life. A lot of times, the limiting beliefs that paralize our life were not originally created by ourselves, rather they come from your parental influence, grandparents, peers, and media etc. But, there is no power behind blaming yourself or others because it is an indication that you do not want to take responsibility for your life right now. Where in truth all the potentiality and possibility lie in the present moment — here and now. It is how you choose to deal with your error-based or fear-based beliefs and emotions now that determines what will happen next in your life. If you choose to deal with your emotions and release them in a healthy way, your relationships with others, yourself, your work and everything else will improve automatically because everything happening in your life is a reflection of your inner self. However, if you choose to turn away from your emotional injuries and neglect them, they will become darker and more intense until your emotional turmoil becomes too overwhelming and starts to wreck your life, your health and your relationships.

Do not be afraid of your emotions because they are the most accurate depiction of who you really are. No matter how much you try to run away from your emotions, in the end you will always revert back to your true feelings. Do not feel shamed about what you did or what happened to you in the past. It may not be all your fault or not as bad as you think. The truth is you were doing the best you could at that time and life is supposed to be a constant learning process.

You are never responsible for what happened to you. But you do need to look at what emotions and energy in you that have attracted certain events. You are responsible for how you deal with the personal emotional injuries now, how you want to direct your life and taking steps to create your life according to your free will now. Acknowledging what hurt you in the past, why it hurt you, how you feel about it now and how you want to come to peace with the past is a powerful technique to release your emotional injuries. Open your heart. It might be scary and hurt at first, but eventually love and truth will come into your heart, your vibration and heal your whole being.

I would like to share a beautiful but powerful poem with you:

One And Only You

Every single blade of grass,

And every flake of snow —

Is just a wee bit different …

There’s no two alike, you know.

From something small, like grains of sand,

To each gigantic star

All were made with THIS in mind:

To be just what they are!

How foolish then, to imitate —

How useless to pretend!

Since each of us comes from a MIND

Whose ideas never end.

There’ll only be just ONE of ME

To show what I can do —

And you should likewise feel very proud,

There is only ONE of YOU.

That is where it all starts

With you, a wonderful unlimited human being.

Love and light

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSourse Spiritual Guidance

Positivity, Patience And Persistence Are Keys To Miracles

persistence-patient

No matter how negative a situation seems to be, it can always be turned around into something beautiful and meaningful. It may not be easy or it may take a long time. But if it’s something that you desire and truely believe in, it will be worth the effort because the peacefulness, joy, gratitude and sense of accomplishment you gain afterwards are imcompareable and the lessons you have learned along the way can benefit you for the rest of your life.

It’s important to always hold best intentions at heart. If there are inner conflict and resentment in you that prevent you to be positively  in a situation, deal with those negative emotions first because you can’t escape your own thoughts and emotions and they will filter everything that comes into your awareness. If you keep suppressing negative thoughts and emotions instead of acknowledging them, bitterness will become part of you and the consequencial pain will consume you. So clear and let go of your negativity first so that you can see love and truth in that situation rather than believing in false illusions created by your tainted awareness. Then you are able to carry out positive actions in a very natural manner as actions are physical reflections of your inner state.

Everything is moving and changing. So never think that a certain situation can not be changed. If you consistantly change your attitude and actions, it will affect other people and the situation will certainly change but you have to have the will to initiate it and do something about it rather than waiting for someone else to do it for you or a fairy tale miracle to happen.

Never think that what you are able to do now is not enough. Do not judge yourself by comparing your starting point with someone elses’ finished results. Long-lasting changes are never easy to make and they are not mean to be done in just one day. If you can not do extraordinary things, do small things in an extraordinary way. Do something positive everyday about a situation you want to change whether it’s personal or worldly, be consistent and persistent at it.  You will be surprised what it can mount to overtime. When you look back, you will be so happy about and proud of the decisions you have made and the things you have done.

Love and light,

Jane Huang

Whatever You Give Attention to Grows

Wolf

What’s your approach to life challenges? Do you take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and emotions or do you project them at other people to make them responsible for the results and the directions of your life? Are you honest about your true thoughts, feelings and emotions without putting yourself down or do you judge yourself for mistakes because it is too hard to facing your emotions? How do you deal with conflicts with people around you? Do you project all the negativity at them or do you ask yourself what you have done has caused the situation and what energy in your has attracted the particular situation?

When facing challenges, difficulties, conflicts and confusion, there are many ways to deal with them and each one will bring you a unique solution. Not sure which one to choose? Try this: close your eyes, breathe into your diaphragm, let go of your thoughts and let your feeling and emotions flow. See yourself being peaceful and grateful for the solutions and let the feeling guide you to take the actions that will bring you the best result. Relax, trust divine guidance and take inspired actions instead of reacting directly from the fight or flight mode or getting into a habit of worrying, debating in your mind, or even resentment. Try it several times and make it your habit of making decisions. You’ll feel much lighter, happier and your life will be a lot more enjoyable.

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance