Grow with Life Experiences Series – How to deal with narcissistic people including your parents (Part 2)

It is quite unfortunate if one or both of your parents is/are narcissistic however it doesn’t mean you have to repeat your parents’ patterns. When you were young, you brain is not developed enough to process complex emotions and situations. However as you grow more mature especially into adulthood, you have the ability to identify unhealthy patterns inherited from your parents and the capacity to process and heal them. One good thing about being an adult is that you are able to parent your inner child in ways that your narcissistic parent/parents is/are not able to.

Before diving further into how you can heal from the trauma bonding with your narcissistic parents. It’s important to understand the extent narcissistic parents’ negative outlook, criticism, brainwashing and controlling tactics on their children. According to research, children who are brought up by narcissistic parents tend to experience the following mental health, relationship, career and physical health struggles.

It is very important to establish boundaries with narcissistic parents because we are consciously and unconsciously influenced by the environment around us and there is no benefit to have narcissists around you. If you can, it’s best to establish your living space and build a supportive circle around you. Narcissistic parents tend to think they have ownership over their children and therefore they will not respect your boundaries. You establishing your boundaries will actually anger or trigger them because they can no longer control you. It’s important to know that narcissistic people crave power. When their power over something or someone is being challenged, their true color will come out. That’s why narcissistic parents can be emotionally, physically, psychologically, mentally and/ or verbally abusive when their children rebel their ideas, plans or beliefs.

In the previous post, I have mentioned that narcissistic people have no empathy. This means they will not be able to see things from your perspective. They also have no desire to do so. They have this grandiose and arrogant idea about themselves as if they know everything or whatever they say or think is correct and cannot be challenged. Somehow they think they are above others. Even when you show them facts and try to reason with them, their arrogance will dismiss your ideas and proposals. That’s why arrogant people can also be very ignorant because they never see the point of learning from others or life experiences. In their little mind, they think they already know everything. Therefore arrogant people are also emotionally shallow because it is empathy, compassion, humility, the ability to self-reflect that make a person emotionally rich and deep.

It is important to mention that just because you can pinpoint your narcissistic parents’ toxic traits, it does not mean that you can change them. Narcissistic people do not change on the fundamental level. Even if they change, it will be a very small one instead of a drastic change. Narcissistic people are innately self serving, emotionally selfish, cold, immature and shallow. They may change their actions to make them look better but not because they suddenly develop empathy or there is a big change on the core level.

It is much better to look for support and fulfillment elsewhere such as developing meaningful friendships, leaning a new skills, watching some heart-warming movies, engaging in activities that make you feel happier and more confident, being in nature, meditating etc.

Self-love and self-confidence are essential when dealing with narcissistic parents. Always put yourself first. You don’t have to be the one who is always putting in the effort or be consistent with them. You don’t have to give them more than what they deserve even if they are your parents. Parents are supposed to be emotional, psychologically and physically supportive of their children’s growth. If they do not do their part right, you don’t have to be the one putting in all the effort or mending the relationship. It’s important and beneficial to always invest in reciprocative relationships and break the boundaries that your parents set for you and start living your life for your own good. Although it is easier said than done, and it can take years of practicing self-love to hold strong boundaries again narcissistic parents, the rewards and the inner strength and wisdom you have gained along the way will make everything worthwhile. There is nothing more emotionally rewarding than building a strong and healthy relationship with yourself as all other relationships are reflections of that.

Love and light,

Jane

Keep your energy and vibration high during COVID-19 lockdown

During this quarantine period, although it is easy to be influenced by negative news and remain in a state of fearfulness,  it is important to fear will never attract or manifest anything positive. It will only attract and manifest more fear. At this time of uncertainty and turbulence, it is crucial that we keep our energy high and vibrant so that negative forces can’t have any grip on us.

Looking from a different angle, being at home is a perfect time to cultivate high, pure light energy within yourself and really strengthen your light body. I have been working meditate light bodyon healing and strengthening my subtle/ energy body for the past two weeks and have released a lot of emotions and become more sensitive and mindful of the health of my subtle body. It has been amazing. I feel more peaceful, grounded and more connected to my being.

 

To help you connect with your spirituality and stay calm and peaceful inside, I have summarized some tips below:

1. Journal before you go to sleep. Write down your desires, fears, worries, confusions and ask either negatives emotions to be cleared during your dream state or answers and solutions regarding your questions be answered in whatever way that is clear to you. JournalWriting down your thoughts and feelings is a great way to clear yourself and let go of your grip on the situation. For any situation to unfold in a positive way, you must detach and let go and allow it to manifest in the way it is meant to be. When you allow and trust, it will always unfold in a way that is for your highest good and you will understand it sooner or later.  

2. Go to sleep with a peaceful mind and open heart. You can achieve this by saying a prayer, meditating, or listening to a peaceful sleep meditation before sleep. The thoughts and feelings you carry into your sleep have profound influence on your inner state. If you take resentful, hateful, angry thoughts with you in your dreams, you will wake up exhausted, depressed, angry, and unfocused. If you go to sleep with a feeling of gratitude, love and peace, you will wake up with more energy, feeling of joy and expansion. Let go of your grip or your perspective on a situation. If someone did something that upset you, just understand, it’s the way they peaceful sleepare, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. They behave in a certain way that they think is most beneficial which you may or may not agree. Repeat to yourself “I forgive you for not being the person I want you to be.” Because in truth, nobody has the obligation to do what pleases you. If you have met someone who is like you and you resonate with, know that this is a blessing and a gift and be grateful for the gift. The attitude of gratitude bring you more of what you love and appreciate.

3. Upon waking, write down your dreams, pay attention to the feelings, colours, messages, the storylines, etc. Sometimes, you may see animals, ETs, or yourself as a different person. No matter how bizarre your dreams are, write down the details as much as possible. When you go back and read your dreams in a month, 3 months, a year, you will see a pattern how your subconscious mind communicates with you and you will start to remember more and more of your dreams. It’s pretty amazing!

4. If something is bothering you, write them down. Writing down your thoughts can really help you sort through your thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, solutions and understanding of a situation can magically appear while you are writing. Pay attention to how you feel and only anchor on positive, assertive and constructive emotions so that your energy/subtle body stays strong.

5. Observe your thoughts and emotions rather than letting them control and affect you. You are much bigger than your thoughts and emotions which are just some aspects of you and they can change constantly. light bodyObserve your thoughts and emotions and let them go. Don’t try to hold on to any of them whether you perceive them as good or bad. Be more fluid, and things in your life will unfold more quickly. That’s why so many people find the famous quote from Bruce Lee “Be like water.” inspiring.

6. Use our time and energy mindfully and choose who you spend your time with consciously. Create an environment for yourself that is nurturing and supportive of who you are and what you want to become. Don’t be afraid to say no. If people don’t respect your choices, they don’t deserve to be in your life. You don’t want to give your precious time and energy to somebody who doesn’t respect you. Do not give up part of yourself just to keep the peace or avoid conflict. Your vibration and the quality of your inner state are your highest priority.

7. Other people are your mirrors. What you like or dislike in a person is a reflection of yourself on some level. Universe gives us challenging situations to help us grow. Challenging situations are perfect opportunities to look within to heal our wounded self and release what is no long needed for our highest good. Everything evolves. Allow yourself evolve naturally and organic without putting external restrictions on yourself. Then you can really witness and be amazed by the grand plan your soul and the divine has for you.  and .

8. Have fun! Laughter is the best medicine. You can heal a lot through laughter and allow your inner child to come out and play. inner childThis is when you are able to reintegrate parts of yourself that have split off during stress times. Healing doesn’t always have to be heavy and challenging. You can heal during deep sleep, watching a movie, playing sports, music, artistic and creative endeavors etc. It important to connect and love your inner child because it is essential in the process of manifestation and your connect to spirit. Once you are able to love and accept all parts of yourself and love your inner child, you will have so much spiritual power, strength, insights and understanding. You will see and understand people and situations so much more clearly that nothing will bother you anymore and you will know exactly what is the right thing to do in every situation.

Love and light,

Jane Huang

Healing with Sagittarius Full Moon (Part II)

The dynamic and fiery Sagittarius Full moon falls on May 29 in the Northern sphere and May 30 in the Southern Sphere. Its effect usually lasts for 3 days. So anytime between May 29 to June 02 would be a wonderful time to set intention to release what no longer serves you and ask for additional help from the divine to allow the process to be as gentle and pleasant while effective as possible.

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The internal and external shifts you are experiencing are the ways your souls communicate with you to let you know what is coming your way. You may feel confused, worried, upset or excited. It’s going to be a different experience for everyone, but it’s very important for you to stay as grounded as possible. The more grounded you become, the more positive changes and new uplifting energy can be integrated into your body and your life. The deeper you go within and the more reflective you become, the deeper the shifts will be rooted with you. Your system is like a tree, the stronger, deeper the roots are, the higher it can reach.

If you feel there needs to be a shift in perception to allow higher dimension feelings and thoughts to come in, or releasing of suppressed emotions, or letting go of friendships or relationships that are not supportive of where you are going or changing careers or jobs that hold you back from reaching your full potential, set intentions to release them in manageable ways and fully own the decisions and trust that the universe always listens and responds as your true essence/higher self is one with the universe – the divine.  

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The changes you are experiencing now can be sudden or subtle. It can be what you have prayed for or out the blue. However the changes manifest themselves, remember to stay nimble and flexible regarding to your approaches. Purify your intentions and desires so that they are based in love, compassion, humility and service and surrender them fully to the universe and trust that there are great gifts and blessings coming your way. Keep in mind that no matter what we have planed for, the universe always have something better in store for us.

If you feel confused about what choices to make regarding your careers, relationships or even spiritual paths, pause, step back and give yourself space to allow the right answers to come to you when you are in the right frame of mind and your hearts are receptive. It’s okay to slow down, be silent for a while, and stay present in your body to allow yourselves to be receptive to divine ideas.  It’s essential to create a peaceful and loving space within you to allow what is for your highest good to come to you and then you can take it from there. 

 

 

Love and light,

Jane Huang

 

Question Your Ability to Achieve Your Goals? – Watch This!

Human beings have amazing and inexhaustible abilities and potential to achieve our goals and create unbelieve realities. Whether you can achieve your potential, all depends on which image of yourself and the voice in you that you choose to connect to and live by. If you see yourself as a people pleaser, you will always do what other people expect of you and never really find out what you truly want. If you see yourself as a victim of life, you will always find power, strength and decisiveness too far to reach. If you see yourself as a conventional person, you will always follow cultural norms and never question if they are beneficial for societal progression and if they are for your highest good.

On the other hand, if you see yourself as a person who speaks and acts in truth and justice, you will not be lured into pleasing anyone because you see personal freedom and self-repect as most important and when you understand to respect yourself, you will give others the respect that they deserve as well.

If you see yourself as a powerful creator rather than a victim, you will go within and summon your inner wisdom, power and strength to make the best possible decisions out of any situation rather than giving up half way or blaming others for hardship because you understand that you participate in creating everything in your life and how you feel about anything in your life is totally within your control.

If you see yourself as a powerful, free human being who is meant to live by their purpose and bring knowledge, wisdom, freedom and inspiration to the world and is not meant to blindly follow any convention created by society, you will live your life with purpose, determination, gratitude, joy, creativity and love that will touch so many people in this world and inspire them to get out of their shell and be free.

A change in perception and intention can change so much in your life.

If you ever question your ability to achieve your goals, think again, because you are powerful, amazing and beautiful.

Love and light

Jane Huang

Founder Of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance

Freedom, Love, Tolerance and Acceptance

One of the most beautiful songs about freedom, love, spirituality, tolerance and acceptance. We are all brothers and sisters on the jouney of constant learning and creating our individual and collective reality that we call LIFE. It doesn’t matter what cultural, class, racial or religious background you are from, we are fundamentally the same inside and all have the innate desire to love and be loved.

Most problems in the world now are created by lack of love manifesting in lack of tolerance and acceptance such as different religions, culture, politics, sexuality etc. However, everyone has the gift of free will and is encouraged to make whatever decisions they like without harming others. Everyone’s purpose in life is to prosper through experiencing and developing one’s talents and abilities, resulting in creating value to the world and human-kind.

We are much stronger, more powerful together than apart and against each other. The biggest lesson humanity needs to learn is love – truly giving from the heart without expecting anything back while allowing the universe returns its favour at its divine time.

Hope this post can help those who are struggling in life and know that my prayers are with you.

Jane Huang

Founder of MasterSource Spiritual Guidance