How Law of Attraction Really Works

In the context of human experience, the law of attraction works on both conscious and subconscious level. What most human are consciously aware of is only about 3%. the rest is unconscious within which some is inherited, some may come from past life, some were picked up when you were very young or when you were in a highly receptive state so information, thoughts and beliefs went into your subconscious mind directly without being examined or filtered by your conscious mind.

There have been a lot of books, programs talking about changing your thoughts in order to change your life. However, you have have noticed that a lot of the times, it may not be as easy as you would like because thoughts come from your belief systems, most of which are unconscious to you until you start to do some serious inner-work. Thoughts that have heavy emotional charge attached to them are more challenging to change causing behavioral patterns difficult to change as well.

Diving a bit deeper, what makes changing your beliefs challenging is that you very likely picked them up when you were very young from your parents or caretakers. When you were young, you had no choice but absorb and pick up everything around you because your brain is not developed yet to perform complex tasks and weave out or reject negative thoughts, beliefs or projections. Then you go on living your life as if you aught to think, feel or behave in a certain way not knowing that there are actually unlimited ways of thinking, perceiving, behaving and living your life. Years of living your life unconsciously only consolidates your subconscious beliefs until when you see the limitation of living your life in a certain way and start to ask deeper questions such as “How can I improve my life experience?” “Why did I behave in a certain way?” “How can I change my response?” etc.

People who are awakened or are in the awakening process will be drawn to self-healing or self-development in order to understand themselves better, to heal parts of themselves that were not loved or damaged, to be their own best friend and biggest ally. When you start to put in the work in the right direction, the universe will respond and help you along by bringing you experiences and miracles better than you have expected. Everything starts with you. If you want to have better relationship with your spouse/partner, you need to take responsibility and start to examine your life first. Are you doing everything you can? Do you truly want to stay in the relationship? Do you see a future with your spouse/partner? Whether the answer is yes or no, you need to be honest with yourself and make decisions and take actions that are aligned with your integrity, principles and values. When you do it consistently, either your spouse/partner will be inspired to change with you or the universe will clear the way and bring you someone who has similar intention and is a vibrational match for you.

As you keep unpeeling the onion, start to work on yourself on the soul level, start to say “YES” to your soul purpose and start to walk on your soul path consistently, the universe will bring you someone who can resonate with you on your soul level. Some people call it a soulmate relationship, but in essence, it means to be in a relationship with someone who has great synergy and chemistry with you. You understand, love and care about each other deeply, help each other be the best you can and walk on your highest paths individually and collectively. However it doesn’t mean it will always be easy as life will always throw you challenges, but overall it will be a very strong, deep, meaningful, satisfying and often intense relationship.

Love and light,

Jane

Grow with Life Experiences Series – How to deal with narcissistic people including your parents (Part 2)

It is quite unfortunate if one or both of your parents is/are narcissistic however it doesn’t mean you have to repeat your parents’ patterns. When you were young, you brain is not developed enough to process complex emotions and situations. However as you grow more mature especially into adulthood, you have the ability to identify unhealthy patterns inherited from your parents and the capacity to process and heal them. One good thing about being an adult is that you are able to parent your inner child in ways that your narcissistic parent/parents is/are not able to.

Before diving further into how you can heal from the trauma bonding with your narcissistic parents. It’s important to understand the extent narcissistic parents’ negative outlook, criticism, brainwashing and controlling tactics on their children. According to research, children who are brought up by narcissistic parents tend to experience the following mental health, relationship, career and physical health struggles.

It is very important to establish boundaries with narcissistic parents because we are consciously and unconsciously influenced by the environment around us and there is no benefit to have narcissists around you. If you can, it’s best to establish your living space and build a supportive circle around you. Narcissistic parents tend to think they have ownership over their children and therefore they will not respect your boundaries. You establishing your boundaries will actually anger or trigger them because they can no longer control you. It’s important to know that narcissistic people crave power. When their power over something or someone is being challenged, their true color will come out. That’s why narcissistic parents can be emotionally, physically, psychologically, mentally and/ or verbally abusive when their children rebel their ideas, plans or beliefs.

In the previous post, I have mentioned that narcissistic people have no empathy. This means they will not be able to see things from your perspective. They also have no desire to do so. They have this grandiose and arrogant idea about themselves as if they know everything or whatever they say or think is correct and cannot be challenged. Somehow they think they are above others. Even when you show them facts and try to reason with them, their arrogance will dismiss your ideas and proposals. That’s why arrogant people can also be very ignorant because they never see the point of learning from others or life experiences. In their little mind, they think they already know everything. Therefore arrogant people are also emotionally shallow because it is empathy, compassion, humility, the ability to self-reflect that make a person emotionally rich and deep.

It is important to mention that just because you can pinpoint your narcissistic parents’ toxic traits, it does not mean that you can change them. Narcissistic people do not change on the fundamental level. Even if they change, it will be a very small one instead of a drastic change. Narcissistic people are innately self serving, emotionally selfish, cold, immature and shallow. They may change their actions to make them look better but not because they suddenly develop empathy or there is a big change on the core level.

It is much better to look for support and fulfillment elsewhere such as developing meaningful friendships, leaning a new skills, watching some heart-warming movies, engaging in activities that make you feel happier and more confident, being in nature, meditating etc.

Self-love and self-confidence are essential when dealing with narcissistic parents. Always put yourself first. You don’t have to be the one who is always putting in the effort or be consistent with them. You don’t have to give them more than what they deserve even if they are your parents. Parents are supposed to be emotional, psychologically and physically supportive of their children’s growth. If they do not do their part right, you don’t have to be the one putting in all the effort or mending the relationship. It’s important and beneficial to always invest in reciprocative relationships and break the boundaries that your parents set for you and start living your life for your own good. Although it is easier said than done, and it can take years of practicing self-love to hold strong boundaries again narcissistic parents, the rewards and the inner strength and wisdom you have gained along the way will make everything worthwhile. There is nothing more emotionally rewarding than building a strong and healthy relationship with yourself as all other relationships are reflections of that.

Love and light,

Jane

Grow with Life Experiences Series

June 03, 2022

Your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions create your reality because they not only attract circumstances that reflect them but also affect your response and reaction to various situations, opportunities and challenges in life.

So by changing your beliefs, thoughts and emotions, you can change your life. By healing your past trauma, release negative thoughts and beliefs, you are able to heal yourself, release past experiences, beliefs or doctrines that have been instilled in your mind but are no longer supportive of what you are going. Then the plateau you experience in life will be lifted, and you will be able to see and experience what is beyond your current beliefs allow you to. You will be able to experience more joy, freedom, and cultivate deeper connection with yourself and you will be able to perceive and understand people, things and situations on a deeper level and in a more truthful manner because you are not looking through filters anymore, you are seeing people, things and situations for what truly they are.

However, it has its pros and cons:

pros:

You will feel that life has more meaning and life has more colour.

You feel deeper emotions, have deeper thoughts and start to look for and attract people who are more aligned with who you are and where you are going.

You will feel a sense of community and support when you are surrounded by like-minded and like-hearted people.

You will feel you life is taking off or is accelerating.

You feel excited about life and have more tolerance for the challenges that life throws your way

You will feel happier because you are more in touch with your true being. In another word, you start to love yourself unconditionally and forgive yourself easily.

You will have more compassion for yourself and others

You will start to develop inner strength and wisdom which go hand in hand

cons:

Spiritual growth may come with some growing pains. You may start to realize who are not contributing positivity in your life and you will want to distancing yourself from them. This can be an uncomfortable phase because people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. During this time, it’s very important to surround yourself with people who truly care about you and who understand what you are going through. You need support to go through the cleansing phase. Of course, you can do this on your own, but it is easier when there is support, love and understanding around you. Besides that, you can also learn from those who have gone through similar situations as you do. Human beings are social beings, through communication and interaction with others, we gain new information, ideas, inspiration etc. that help us become smarter, stronger, kinder and learn to see things from different perspectives.

Everyday, start to do things that excite you and scare you at the same time as long as they don’t put you in any kind of danger because the goal is to open yourself to a world and experiences that are beyond your current comfort zone and not to traumatize yourself. Even in just in one year, you’ll start to see a huge amount of changes and growth!

Love and Light,

Jane