It is quite unfortunate if one or both of your parents is/are narcissistic however it doesn’t mean you have to repeat your parents’ patterns. When you were young, you brain is not developed enough to process complex emotions and situations. However as you grow more mature especially into adulthood, you have the ability to identify unhealthy patterns inherited from your parents and the capacity to process and heal them. One good thing about being an adult is that you are able to parent your inner child in ways that your narcissistic parent/parents is/are not able to.
Before diving further into how you can heal from the trauma bonding with your narcissistic parents. It’s important to understand the extent narcissistic parents’ negative outlook, criticism, brainwashing and controlling tactics on their children. According to research, children who are brought up by narcissistic parents tend to experience the following mental health, relationship, career and physical health struggles.
It is very important to establish boundaries with narcissistic parents because we are consciously and unconsciously influenced by the environment around us and there is no benefit to have narcissists around you. If you can, it’s best to establish your living space and build a supportive circle around you. Narcissistic parents tend to think they have ownership over their children and therefore they will not respect your boundaries. You establishing your boundaries will actually anger or trigger them because they can no longer control you. It’s important to know that narcissistic people crave power. When their power over something or someone is being challenged, their true color will come out. That’s why narcissistic parents can be emotionally, physically, psychologically, mentally and/ or verbally abusive when their children rebel their ideas, plans or beliefs.
In the previous post, I have mentioned that narcissistic people have no empathy. This means they will not be able to see things from your perspective. They also have no desire to do so. They have this grandiose and arrogant idea about themselves as if they know everything or whatever they say or think is correct and cannot be challenged. Somehow they think they are above others. Even when you show them facts and try to reason with them, their arrogance will dismiss your ideas and proposals. That’s why arrogant people can also be very ignorant because they never see the point of learning from others or life experiences. In their little mind, they think they already know everything. Therefore arrogant people are also emotionally shallow because it is empathy, compassion, humility, the ability to self-reflect that make a person emotionally rich and deep.
It is important to mention that just because you can pinpoint your narcissistic parents’ toxic traits, it does not mean that you can change them. Narcissistic people do not change on the fundamental level. Even if they change, it will be a very small one instead of a drastic change. Narcissistic people are innately self serving, emotionally selfish, cold, immature and shallow. They may change their actions to make them look better but not because they suddenly develop empathy or there is a big change on the core level.
It is much better to look for support and fulfillment elsewhere such as developing meaningful friendships, leaning a new skills, watching some heart-warming movies, engaging in activities that make you feel happier and more confident, being in nature, meditating etc.
Self-love and self-confidence are essential when dealing with narcissistic parents. Always put yourself first. You don’t have to be the one who is always putting in the effort or be consistent with them. You don’t have to give them more than what they deserve even if they are your parents. Parents are supposed to be emotional, psychologically and physically supportive of their children’s growth. If they do not do their part right, you don’t have to be the one putting in all the effort or mending the relationship. It’s important and beneficial to always invest in reciprocative relationships and break the boundaries that your parents set for you and start living your life for your own good. Although it is easier said than done, and it can take years of practicing self-love to hold strong boundaries again narcissistic parents, the rewards and the inner strength and wisdom you have gained along the way will make everything worthwhile. There is nothing more emotionally rewarding than building a strong and healthy relationship with yourself as all other relationships are reflections of that.
Love and light,
Jane
on healing and strengthening my subtle/ energy body for the past two weeks and have released a lot of emotions and become more sensitive and mindful of the health of my subtle body. It has been amazing. I feel more peaceful, grounded and more connected to my being.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a great way to clear yourself and let go of your grip on the situation. For any situation to unfold in a positive way, you must detach and let go and allow it to manifest in the way it is meant to be. When you allow and trust, it will always unfold in a way that is for your highest good and you will understand it sooner or later. 
are, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. They behave in a certain way that they think is most beneficial which you may or may not agree. Repeat to yourself “I forgive you for not being the person I want you to be.” Because in truth, nobody has the obligation to do what pleases you. If you have met someone who is like you and you resonate with, know that this is a blessing and a gift and be grateful for the gift. The attitude of gratitude bring you more of what you love and appreciate.
Observe your thoughts and emotions and let them go. Don’t try to hold on to any of them whether you perceive them as good or bad. Be more fluid, and things in your life will unfold more quickly. That’s why so many people find the famous quote from Bruce Lee “Be like water.” inspiring.
This is when you are able to reintegrate parts of yourself that have split off during stress times. Healing doesn’t always have to be heavy and challenging. You can heal during deep sleep, watching a movie, playing sports, music, artistic and creative endeavors etc. It important to connect and love your inner child because it is essential in the process of manifestation and your connect to spirit. Once you are able to love and accept all parts of yourself and love your inner child, you will have so much spiritual power, strength, insights and understanding. You will see and understand people and situations so much more clearly that nothing will bother you anymore and you will know exactly what is the right thing to do in every situation.
Divine Inspiration Coaching 